The nightmare food amongst sufferers of trypophobia (fear of holes) crumpets are pucks of yeasty sponge matter with holes in. They are fantastic at making butter disappear. You put a nob of butter on a hot crumpet, it will disaappear in seconds. You put another nob of butter on, it too will disappear in seconds. Then you bite into the buttery, squelchy, supple mess and it is GLORIOUS. The crumpet is soft and firm at the same time, the butter infuses with the slightly salty yeasty flesh and drips onto your tongue and down your chops. You might be that little bit closer to a coronary after this treat, but it’s well worth it.