I’ll never forget this experience, neither will you. So turn back now if you’d rather not know! I was working the late shift and had about an hour to go before the end of my shift. So I decided to sit in the toilet cubicle playing games on my phone for a half-hour or so. The great thing about working in a large store is that you can get away with this quite easily by claiming you were working out the back or something.
She finally leaves outside and we make sure she’s leaving the property and she goes around the corner of the building. We follow slowly because she appeared out of her mind, and what glory to the eyes to we get to witness, this lady with her shorts completely to the ankles, ass on the wall of the building pissing and shitting. It was too late, we had seen and been through it all by the time the police arrived to really escort her away. When they came, yes, it was just way too late, our eyes and memory had been tainted for life at that point…
We all have regular customers that come in at least once a day right? At my location, there’s a lot of apartment buildings surrounding my store so a lot of customers just walk on over. There’s one middle-aged man in particular that always walks on over about twice a day, when he asks a question he sounds like he’s upset and likes to yell at us. Ok, we deal with that daily, it’s irritating but easily able to brush off.
Maybe I’m just incredibly immature, but nothing amuses me more than inflicting the stench of my farts on my co-workers. This one particular day my friend Chris working alone down the toilet paper aisle. I’d already spent much of the morning crop dusting the store, but I knew I’d still be able to muster a special one just for Chris. For flair, I decided the best method of delivery would be to skate down the aisle at full speed on a pump truck.