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Retail Shorts

Snapshots into the minds of retail workers from funny comments, calls to the void and 'sorry not sorry' moments.

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If I won the lottery I wouldn't just quit my retail job. I'd see how badly I can do the job before I get fired.

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Sometimes, I'm so tired after my shifts I try to open my house door with my clocking in card.

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When you work in retail it's the simple things that can make your day, like a customer slipping on a banana for instance.

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Those impromptu naps in the stock room hit different

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Stressed woman working 60+ hours per week in retail just to pay her bills

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Me: I don't want to go to work. Bills: Bitch better have my money!

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Work tip. Stretch. Take a walk. Go to the airport. Get on a plane. Never return.

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Get well soon because your chronic illness that you constantly talk about is becoming boring to me

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Don't let this fake smile and professional body language fool you. I'd punch you in the throat if I knew I wouldn't lose my job.

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If you don't back up your staff in front of difficult customers then you are a weak ass manager

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You can get away with anything in retail if you are a parent

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When you haven't got time to help someone at work and unsee them

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Savage rants

I F**king HATE doing inventory!

It's that wonderful time of year again when we have to count EVERY friggin item in the store

We're not friends, I'm being paid to be nice to you

Ever had one of those customers who think you're best buds now because you happened to ask them how they are?

Working in retail has put me off children for life

I used to love kids. In an entirely legal kind of way might I add. But after 5 years of...

Customers that talk on the phone when you serve them

Not asking for much. Just pop your items onto my checkout and answer my simple yet necessary questions, such as "Do you need a bag?"

We need a slow lane in the store for the zombies!

If you are walking slower than a wounded sloth, then you either need to get out of the store or order online...

The impromptu noshers

I worked on a delicatessen counter. Some customers had this weird habit of eating what they had just ordered at the counter...

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