Confessions

We need a slow lane in the store for the zombies!

Old lady hater
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I’m not being funny, but if you are walking slower than a wounded sloth, then you either need to get out of the store or order online. I’m honestly not trying to be mean, but slow-moving people drive me insane. It’s not like I’m whizzing around like Usain Bolt, but I do have a job to do and I’m not really given a fair amount of time to do it. So when you’re shuffling down the aisle, you’re preventing me from doing my job and more importantly you’re seriously tempting me to run you over with my giant pallet of diet coke. This is why I think we need a slow lane for anyone incapable of maintaining 3-4 miles per hour.